Dec102009
Going to the Gun Show
Filed under Family by Kim at 5:00 pm on Dec 10 2009
Over the Thanksgiving weekend, Jack & I accompanied my dad to the gun show at Hampton coliseum. It’s been years and years since I went to a gun show with my dad – possibly since I was in college, so despite the past decade of being mostly anti-gun in mindset, this was like a terrific walk down memory lane. There was some wingnut antics & propaganda on display, but nostalgia won the day.
The last time I fired a gun was many years back now, and since then I’ve purposely kept myself at a distance from guns. I remember being a little uncomfortable at the range last time. I have no love for firing a gun, much to my dad’s chagrin; he bought me my first NRA membership as soon as I was old enough and he took me to the range and taught me how to handle a gun as soon as they’d let me out there with him.
Those experiences were really valuable, and I’m grateful to my dad for giving them to me. I do feel like there are good reasons, living in U.S. gun culture, to know how to handle a gun responsibly. I can academically understand the urge to become a good marksman, even though I never felt a pressing need. (Archery always seemed like way more fun.) Hunting for sport is something I find appalling, while hunting for food I somewhat understand. I’m a meat eater, and just because I’ve always maintained a good distance from the slaughter of the animals that I eat does not mean I should forget what happens to bring meat to my table.
It’s like a lot of things I feel strongly about; I have no good answers for legislation surrounding them, I just wish our culture would move away from violence, celebration of violence, and glorification of it. I’m not out there campaigning for stricter gun laws because I don’t believe that gun laws alone can stop gun violence. On the other hand, I sure as shit don’t think citizens being better armed is going to end up with anything but more people getting shot, an outcome I’m wholly against no matter who those people are. I know it sounds frittery and stupid and idealistic but like other abhorrent things we seem to love in our dominant culture I just wish we could back off, get interested in something less destructive.
We walked through the aisles of the show, dad pointing out this type of antique rifle he’s fired or that revolver he likes, discussing the probable history of this Colt, explaining why a certain type of ammo is cheap, and I relate to my father about his interests, and that feels great. Then I immediately turn around and see these enormous automatic weapons and think, there is truly no good reason to have that. Some folks think that we’re just moments away from lawlessness, from the need to defend ourselves from the oppressor or the criminal. I don’t think that way. My experience of living in the U.S. doesn’t support that. My (admittedly vague) spirituality doesn’t allow for doing mortal harm as self-defense or punishment.
Someday Jack may decide he would like to be a gun owner, and we might have a gun in our home. I’m not in love with the idea, but if he really wanted it we would be sure to follow all the requirements of responsible gun owners. Not too long ago I think I was entirely against the idea, but in terms of our relationship I’ve come around to think that I can’t tell him what to do on this count. I don’t think it’s an ultimatum I’m prepared to issue.
I kind of hope I can publish this and have people be too busy to read it. I feel like there’s enough here to make my friends of any political stripe angry with me. I just wanted to talk about how awesome it is to spend time with my dad and enjoy listening to him talk about his hobbies and how going to the gun show is something special that he shared with me as a kid and I’m glad we can still do it. But it is complicated by my mixed political and social feelings, and I feel like they belong in the record.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention a book that also got me thinking more about this, Kyle Cassidy’s Armed America. When I first saw the book, I was disturbed. I’d let myself get into a comfortable denial about the presence of guns in my world. The book reminded me – they are out there, and so are their owners, who might be perfectly nice people. Yes I have friends and family that are gun owners, but they are not an aberration. Anyways I think Kyle’s work rocks.
1 TAOon 10 Dec 2009 at 5:41 pm
That was well put and I appreciate reading your feelings on the matter of firearms in America. Mine are generally the same but I try to respect other peoples views. Thanks for the post!
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Kim Reply:
December 11th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
We can only try. Thanks for the compliment!
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2 Mariaon 10 Dec 2009 at 10:33 pm
“I feel like there’s enough here to make my friends of any political stripe angry with me.”
I have pretty much the same views/feelings about the issue. I can understand the arguments on both sides of the gun control thing but ultimately, nobody has a super-really-good solution to gun violence, so I end up not thinking about it too much.
I am getting pretty proficient at using firearms appropriate to the situation in Fallout 3 though.
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Kim Reply:
December 11th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Yeah, I tend to not think about it most of the time too. Family gatherings bring it to the forefront though.
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3 Jenon 11 Dec 2009 at 9:12 am
I’m just more impressed with Kyle Cassidy’s stuff every time I see it. Seriously.
Thanks for writing this. There is a lot of value to going out and trying to understand things from different points of view, but when it comes down to it I can totally see why it’s important to spend this kind of time with your father. Guns or no. If he was obsessed over stamps, you’d go to stamp shows. It’s all from love.
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Kim Reply:
December 11th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
He is obsessed over stamps, but I guess there are less stamp shows now? Or I just never happen to be visiting for those? I used to go to stamp and coin shows with my dad as well.
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5 Peteron 11 Dec 2009 at 12:09 pm
I’m a gun right’s guy ( Within limits) but now firmly entrenched in middle age doubt I will ever own one. For me its not really a moral choice so much as a practical one. I have years of training with them, I just don’t see the need and with four kids around the risks far outweigh any reward. My brother gave me a cheap Calvary saber when we were teenagers and I worry about my kids being in the house with that locked up as it is. I doubt I could sleep if there was a gun in the house until the kids move out.
Collectors are funny in how they get so passionate about their hobbies. Human nature I guess. It sounds like your Dad has chosen an expensive one but it speaks well of you to try to accept, not necessarily agree with, his opinions.
If I ever did think there was good reason to buy a weapon I would talk to my wife about it first and from what you have said about Jack over the years I can’t see him doing anything other then talking to you too.
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Kim Reply:
December 11th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
My dad is the biggest cheapskate with expensive hobbies. It’s a riddle.
Jack definitely wouldn’t just do it without telling me, no. I think in the past I’ve been sort of passively (or maybe a little actively) discouraging of it. I think he just hasn’t been interested enough to challenge me.
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6 Meganon 11 Dec 2009 at 12:27 pm
I don’t think anyone can get upset with you giving a thoughtful and measured recounting of your thinking on an issue.
Let me be straight out about this – I abhor guns. I think the world would be a better place if we dug a big pit and buried them all.
Earlier this week, a student in a basic math class walked into his class at Northern Virginia Community College and took two shots at his professor. The only reason he didn’t kill her was because the gun, which he had legally purchased the day before, jammed.
He was upset about his grade in her class.
Now are there a whole host of issues leading someone to doing something like that? Yep. Does it speak to larger cultural issues regarding the glorification of violence in our society. Yes. Could this guy have been mentally ill and that was informing his choice? Sure.
But it comes down to this for me. If he didn’t have easy access to a gun, he couldn’t have tried to shoot his teacher over a grade. I suppose he could have taken a knife and tried to stab her or tried to beat her with a hammer, but those things are a bit harder to do than stand in the doorway of a class room and fire a gun.
How many people would have died in Columbine or Virginia Tech if those students had to try and rampage with something other than guns? A lot less.
That teacher could have been me. When I started teaching again, I thought about the fact that I was standing up in front of a classroom in a world where shootings in schools are becoming more and more common.
I know what the world is like. It can be a scary and dangerous place. I am not saying that getting rid of guns would make us all poop unicorns and rainbows and join hands to sing songs together, but the bottom line is guns exist to do one thing and one thing only. Kill.
How is that helping?
(There you go. Now all the crap can hit my fan.)
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Kim Reply:
December 11th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
“the bottom line is guns exist to do one thing and one thing only. Kill.
How is that helping?”
I totally feel this. This is exactly how I have felt for years and years. It’s also like what Moira said below. It seems obvious on the surface that less access to guns will mean less people getting shot. I don’t buy the argument at all that being armed makes you less likely to get shot by a nefarious character. I think it makes you more likely to get shot accidentally by your own gun, personally.
I’m just not prepared to campaign for gun control legislation where it feels like a losing battle. I’d rather campaign for better standards and access in education, and fight THAT losing battle!
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7 Moiraon 11 Dec 2009 at 1:39 pm
I’m kind of in the same place. I wish that guns could be a non-issue because everyone just lost interest in them one day, or because they had never been invented in the first place. I wish they could be eradicated without hurting all of my friends who are emotionally attached to them.
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Kim Reply:
December 11th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Yes, this. Exactly.
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8 Christyon 14 Dec 2009 at 4:52 pm
Hey, you were like ten minutes away from me and you didn’t call! *sniffs* Ok, so you were with Jack and your dad, and I wouldn’t have paid to go into the gun show so we probably would have just met in the parking lot or something. *g* My dad and I did that once when he came up here for a gun show. He wanted to buy bullets for his gun. Both he and my brother have them, and they go to shooting ranges sometimes. Which kinda makes me mad because I’d like to go with them, and I’ve gone to shooting ranges before and enjoyed it, and just cause I’m a girl and don’t own a gun, geez…. *g* Anyways. I guess it’s their bonding thing.
My bf owns rifles and guns, and some day I think I might just for self defense. But the thought of that scares me, that I might have to shoot someone to stop them from harming me. I’m glad I know about guns and how to use them, and I don’t think they should be banned nor that that would help, but honestly, I’m not a fan either. Sort of like you I guess.
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Kim Reply:
December 15th, 2009 at 10:33 am
I did think of you! But there was really no way to get away.
What happens if you ask your dad & brother if you can come along to the range? Maybe next time I can get my dad to take us.
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