Prosaic Paradise

Campaign for the Mundane

The Ants and the Cicada & My Squirrel Bite Story

Filed under History by at 11:58 pm on Sep 03 2009

This was a comment to my friend David, but I thought I’d share it with anyone who reads this. (As always, thank you for reading.)

Over the past week and a half, I had to watch the slow dissolution of a cicada that apparently didn’t make it off the sidewalk. Sorry to tell you this sad story, but it was interesting because in order to get at all the meaty good parts of the cicada, the ants built up little piles of debris to climb up on to its upturned belly. This feast went on for days. Then someone (the trash men I think) kicked the cicada away.

While I’m talking about bugs, I promised Megan I’d explain why a flea infestation ended up with me getting bit by a squirrel. Many of you have probably heard this story, but if you haven’t, enjoy.

When I was in high school I had a friend whose parents kept quite a menagerie of pets. They made trips out of town a bunch, and I’d come over and feed everything, up to and including the squirrel they’d saved from certain death (having been rejected by its squirrel mother) and bottle fed and kept in a massive cage in the living room.

Well, one of these times while they were gone a substantial number of flea eggs all seemed to hatch at the same time. They had a flea infestation the likes of which I have never seen before or since. Being an ignorant and irresponsible teenager, I just wanted to feed the animals and get out of there. My white socks had turned gray from the fleas smelling fresh game and I was getting bit something fierce. So I was, at the least, a bit agitated when I got around to shoving the squirrel food into the cage. I may have been doing this job in a more hurried manner than I should have. I felt a pressure on my finger… no pain… not until I looked and saw the blood. Damn squirrel bit me.

I ran into the kitchen, where they conveniently had an industrial size fridge & freezer for me to shake my hand at and cause a splatter movie scene. I stood at the phone (leaving a convenient blood spatter pattern) and called my dad and things sort of scrolled out as you’d expect – trip to the ER, iodine and pills, the whole nine yards. I believe my dad had the pleasant job of going back and cleaning up the mess I’d made.

I got to my job as a camp counselor late that day. But I’ll never forget one of my friends describing the scene as they imagined it when they heard “Kim’s late ’cause she got bit by a squirrel.” It was like something out of a Disney flick with me wandering out in the back yard and whistling to the woodland creatures a happy morning greeting. Hmm, nope. It was the fleas.

3 Responses to “The Ants and the Cicada & My Squirrel Bite Story”

  1. 1 Meganon 04 Sep 2009 at 12:21 am

    Lol. That was worth it. I just have this picture of you all dressed up like Snow White singing to the woodland animals in that high, princess voice and then Squirrely the Squirrel loses his nuts and goes carnivore on your finger. HeeHee.

    I thought I had a pet squirrel who lived in our backyard when I was a kid. Her name was Sally. She was a remarkably long-lived squirrel. It wasn’t until I was long grown that I realized I thought every squirrel in the vicinity of our yard was Sally and when I’d say to my mom, “Hey, look. It’s Sally!” she’s just go, “Oh, yeah. Imagine that” to shut me the hell up. (maybe I know this because I might do the same thing to my kids.) Glad you survived your squirrel attack. Maybe it was Sally.

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  2. 2 Davidon 01 Oct 2009 at 8:29 pm

    I’m late to the game, but I enjoyed your stories, and your use of ‘dissolution’. It’s a good word.

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    Kim Reply:

    Thank you! There’s no penalty for being late, as far as I am concerned. I appreciate it!

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