I just got home from my 12 hour shift – at school, of course. I tend to get there at 9am and so long as my study group is there, I stay there until 8 or 9 pm. Admittedly, 10-20% of our study time is spent on blue humor and discussion of farts.
I can’t really describe how badly I need to be in some kind of desensitization under-stimulation chamber. I told Jack when I got home that I need very badly to not have to think about anything critically anymore today. It is all I can do to try to pay this red light ticket online, that almost seems like too much right now.
Earlier I cried with Leslie for about 5 minutes about how blessed we are to have found each other and how we can do this and how it’s going to be OK etc etc mutual appreciation society. It was cathartic and necessary. I have a burning in my gut from overeating campus food because when I am not thinking about nursing school I am thinking about food/eating food. It soothes. Until it doesn’t, I guess. I’ll lose the nursing student weight when I graduate perhaps. Thinking critically about my own nutrition: too much. The house? Is a disaster. Jack is stuck alone doing any cleaning and it’s not like he doesn’t have a job, he’s keeping this damn thing afloat! He is a prince. Very understanding of my constant absence. Tara is the other 1/3rd of my study group and she is a mama bear. We get to our cars safe, we stay hydrated, we get reminded of assignments.
I am having the time of my life in school, honestly. I took on an extra three credits of Abnormal Psych simply because I didn’t want to graduate first and then have to take it a year from now when I should be getting a job or starting a BSN program or both. And when I get home from 10 hours of NURS234 studying, I know I have found a “true love” in PSYC203 because I actually still want to read the material for it.
I do not love Pediatric Nursing. I am ultimately bored and sometimes horrified by the subject matter. But our teachers are amazing and caring. I have a lot of hero worship going on for all my professors. They are very open and giving and encouraging. Old school nursing professors, I hear, were none of these things. I am sure glad times have changed.
This is all going by so slow/fast. It seems like a million years until graduation. (People keep saying “you’re so close!” and I am like, “ha ha, there is a lot between now and then”) But when I get there I am going to be weeping openly because I will never have another experience like it and it has made me so happy even when I’m miserable.
I got to spend time in the pediatric Emergency Dept (ED) (apparently people don’t call it an ER anymore, which makes sense, since it’s hardly a “room”) during clinicals and that was kind of a blast, apart from feeling like there were germs all over the many febrile small humans. Fast triage and regular patient inflow! Taking vitals on crying infants! Challenge! But if I seek ED jobs after graduation they will be in the adult ED, for realz.
I’m sorry to my friends. I can’t read your blogs. I can’t really call you much. I made it to the Renfaire but I felt like if I blinked I missed it. If I call anyone outside of school it’s Pam, because she is not working and has a sweet baby I like to visit not to mention liking to visit Pam, or I call Joy because while she is not at MY nursing school she’s at A nursing school, and Michelle because of the same thing. I have them on speed dial. I did sign up for a all-lady fantasy football league which I allow myself about a 30 minute window to deal with on Sunday mornings in case of injuries. But despite that expansive time for player research the Mighty Mutants of the National Sangria League are 0-1-2. Thanks, Nate Kaeding. Oh and I still try to participate in book club! BOOK CLUB 4 LIFE!!!! Hrm… I should get a book club tattoo.
I was told that during nursing school my life would change this much, but I didn’t believe it totally. I was like, surely I will look at google reader here and there! NO. That is hard and requires thinking. I play Team Fortress 2 with Jack or I watch terrible procedural dramas. (If you are a terrible procedural drama fan, PLEASE catch up on NTSF:SD:SUV:: on demand, I have not laughed so hard since the last time Leslie and Tara and I talked about farts.)
OK, I have no more minutes for this. Peace. Love to you all!