Prosaic Paradise

Campaign for the Mundane

Hair Desires

Filed under jack by at 9:38 pm on Apr 01 2010

I like a lot of things about people. I’m really big into hands. Artist and musician hands, hands with knobbly knuckles, hands that gesture a lot. I also like crooked teeth. Life’s little imperfections just get me sometimes with their beauty.

One thing I really like is when someone has their hair clipper-cut on the back of their head. I don’t know what it is but I really like that horse-coat sensation when you run your hand down the back of someone’s head, or that really short-haired dog feeling. The thick-necked ex-football-jock khaki-pants-wearing guy I dated who shall remain nameless excelled at keeping up with his grooming such that he maintained the perfect fuzz. My massage donor, girls rock camp confederate, and swell friend maintains a fantastic haircut that I try not to touch even if invited because I might like it too much. When I watch NCIS I may or may not be fetishizing Gibbs’ fantastic supposedly vaguely regulation ‘do. Back in the day, I had the back of my own head to rub at will. (I kind of miss that. Though lately I have been rocking this dual-bun thing that I would miss.)

Of course, I would end up life-partnering with mister Goldilocks just-stepped-onto-the-set-of-a-Pantene-commercial. Sometimes you overcome these shallow needs. Sometimes someone’s awesomeness overcomes what you ever thought you would like in a mate. (Lately I find myself standing in the kitchen laughing my ass off thanks to him. This has been an amazing de-stressor.)  I don’t know if he will keep his tresses forever. I harbor a not so secret hope that one day I will feel his neatly-shorn scalp. He scoffs at me. He doesn’t seem to be getting any more bald, so that won’t force his hand. I may have to get my own head shaved again after all.

I am a little annoyed with him right now because it is clearly his fault that I have had THIS stuck in my head for the past three days. On loop. Starting when I wake up in the morning, and skipping through my whole day. AUGH. Not even Tim Urban’s chilling rendition of Anita Baker’s “Sweet Love” could knock it out permanently, though it tried.

23 Responses to “Hair Desires”

  1. 1 Lisaon 02 Apr 2010 at 5:41 am

    I too like the short hair. My maternal grandfather had buzzed hair and I loved to rub my hand over top of it. We used to do that and say it was for good luck. :)

    I love watching hands too, but I really love watching an athlete’s legs or back muscles.

    There has got to be a fetish site out there for that somewhere.

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    Kim Reply:

    There inevitably is one for everything. :)

    I remember noticing the hands thing in Jr High school. Long fingers just made me happy.

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  2. 2 TAOon 02 Apr 2010 at 6:06 am

    When you become hair challenged like me you have four paths to choose: 1. Try and cover with bizarre hair comb over acrobatics (my term for this is having a “wunkle”); 2. Get that nuffin’ on top but pony tail in back hipster thing going; 3. Get it buzzed short; 4. All off skin noggin.

    I like number three right now since I don’t want to live in some make believe land where I’m pretending to have hair. That means I’ve hat that bristly thing that you mention often and I understand the rubbing it thing. I may get to number four some day but I would scare small children I”m sure.

    As for Jack and all that hair I’m certainly not the kind of person to wish male pattern on anyone. Nope…am not. Ahem.

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    Kim Reply:

    :) I agree that it seems like 3 and 4 are the way to go nowadays, though I don’t want to tell anyone how to do their hair! No matter how much or how little.

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  3. 3 Moiraon 02 Apr 2010 at 7:27 am

    Are we too old to do the undercut?

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    Kim Reply:

    I never did the undercut in the first place, so I don’t know. I think it would look dumb on me.

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  4. 4 Michelleon 02 Apr 2010 at 8:52 am

    Ever since I got my hair cut short (which I LOVE LOVE LOVE) I have been noticing every other woman with short hair, checking out their style and giving them the “nod”. I am very pleased that there actually seems to be a “short haired lady” nod. So yeah I totally get the short haired thing.

    I think Jack would actually look smokin’ with very short hair. Not that I would ever tell someone what they should do with their hair.

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    Kim Reply:

    Yeah, it’s just like driving a Jeep! 😀

    And I agree with you about the smokin’ hotness but he does not, so I must run my fingers through his long blond locks and sigh wistfully.

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  5. 5 Patrickon 02 Apr 2010 at 10:02 am

    My girl is the reverse, she wants me to have my hair longer. Not long like Jack but not 50’s suit exec short.

    oh and we got our Netflix streaming disk for the Wii so I made her watch the first episode of the IT crowd to test it out. While she didn’t find all the true humor she enjoyed it.

    Worse things could be stuck in your head.

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    Kim Reply:

    Well, I respectfully disagree with your girl, but you should do whatever you want. :)

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  6. 6 Beckion 02 Apr 2010 at 11:17 am

    Whoa, I have the hand and teeth attraction, too! I thought I was alone in that. I used to really like David Bowie’s teeth. And then he has the two different eyes thing going on… Ok stopping now.

    Fetish sites? What? I’m not googling, right now, no ma’am.

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  7. 7 Meganon 02 Apr 2010 at 11:32 am

    I love having super short hair AND I also love having long hair. It creates a bit of a conundrum. I read the Anne Rice vampire novels back in high school, and this one detail about her vampires stuck with me. Every night their hair grew back to it’s original-when-they-became-a-vampire length. I thought this was a great idea because you could buzz your hair off one day and it would grow back for the next. New haircut every day of the week!

    I might like to have that as a super power. It would be a lame super power, but so much fun!

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    Kim Reply:

    Oh Anne Rice. We allllll wished we had that! I remember that detail too. :)

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  8. 8 Christyon 02 Apr 2010 at 2:50 pm

    During the summer between my sophomore and junior years of college, what I call my “hippie summer,” I shaved the underside of my head. So you couldn’t really tell unless you lifted my hair. But man, I remember constantly rubbing that shaved off area, it felt so neat.

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    Kim Reply:

    The undercut! I never did that but then I usually had short hair anyways.

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  9. 9 Mariaon 02 Apr 2010 at 5:12 pm

    I agree with everything except encouraging Jack to get clipped. Let the men be burdened with all that pretty pretty hair and let us ladies have fuzz and mohawks. :) (Maybe he could clipper off a little patch of the lower layers, hrm.)

    When your hair was short, did you get complete strangers (or at least barely-acquaintances) rubbing your head without asking permission? That’s one thing I kinda don’t miss.

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    Kim Reply:

    I didn’t have too many stranger touching experiences. I think I give off some kind of vibe. I know people who have people touch their tattoos, too, and no one ever does that to me.

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  10. 10 Mariaon 02 Apr 2010 at 5:15 pm

    Oh and I totally had the undercut in early high school. I believe at the time it was the Jason Newsted. My hairdresser hated me for asking him to “ruin” my hair but I have no regrets.

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  11. 11 Tesson 02 Apr 2010 at 6:25 pm

    My hairdresser says “You are my only client I get to break all the rules with.”

    I’ve been contemplating getting everything off for a cancer fundraiser. It might be fun to do it once. Though, I have some impressive scars on my scalp from a dog attack when I was a toddler, so I might look scary!

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    Kim Reply:

    Whoah, hi! Long time no see!

    I do think I want to shave my head someday just… not yet. :)

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  12. 12 brion 06 Apr 2010 at 11:28 am

    i am pretty shorn right now and yes, now that you mention it, i guess i do find myself with my hands in my own hair… far too often. hmmm.

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  13. 13 CWon 08 Apr 2010 at 10:50 pm

    I love hands too. Love big hands especially, and hands with expressive fingers and well formed nails. Long fingers too. Arthritic or just well-worn hands always attract me.

    Particularly dislike small skinny hands on men (fine for women though).

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  14. 14 Tweets that mention Prosaic Paradise » Hair Desires -- Topsy.comon 29 Apr 2010 at 9:42 am

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by snidegrrl. snidegrrl said: I posted last night about my short hair obsession. https://www.prosaicparadise.com/?p=1102 […]

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