Prosaic Paradise

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“But the bush is comfortable!”

Filed under Self by at 3:24 pm on Feb 07 2010

This entry is for Genie’s Living Out Loud #13, Drinkin’ Buddies.

That title is one of the many quotes from my days of drinking that is trotted out when it’s time for everyone to tell their drunk stories. I don’t remember exactly when I switched from being interested in creating drunk stories to just telling them to apparently being a bit of a teetotaler, but it happened a while back and I haven’t really been missing it.

If i had to try to nail it down, I’d say it’s when I became permanently non-single. Maybe it was a little before that. It’s been almost a decade since I’ve been excited about becoming woo-hoo drunk, and I think the lack of enthusiasm is because of the times I got myself in “trouble” that way. Oh, I got sick a few times (I was champion of keeping the stuff in my body even beyond alcohol-poisoning levels) and I had wicked hangovers and made a few drunk calls in my life, but the “trouble” was usually more of the hanky-panky variety. (Not all. for instance, the bush was comfortable on my 21st birthday and the most risqué thing I did was drink one of those “BJ” shots you’re supposed to drink without your hands. Once they pried me off the bush, I slept it off alone on Telf’s couch.)

I haven’t really blogged the litany of hilarious and bawdy stories because in part they are not solely my stories to tell, and in part because in many cases, someone’s feelings were hurt, relationships torn asunder, and all kinds of just bad shit. I drank to lower my inhibitions, and that is the long and the short of it. I drank to be more socially adventurous, let’s say. And while it took me a few horrific mistakes to learn this, that doesn’t really mesh well with monogamy. So in some ways I associate myself getting very drunk with hurting the people I love.

It’s not that I will cheat on Jack if I drink more. We’re beyond all that nonsense now. It’s just that the thing that made drinking fun for me was “getting closer” to people, and if that’s not a factor, then why drink? I never really drank to relax – I’m too hardcore anxious and high strung for that to be effective. Smoking was far more the vice for serving that purpose. I like the flavor of some beers and wines, and ever since April made me that grape cosmopolitan (Ciroc vodka is the key) I’ve been a fan, but I also really like the taste of a cold glass of ginger ale. And then there’s no “gosh can I drive home yet” business. Thus, the compelling reasons to be drunk have been removed.

So I don’t know. When someone says “we’re gonna get drunk!” to me these days I’m like… “why?” Of course, the opportunity presents itself less and less when one finds oneself more frequently at a 1-year-old’s birthday party than at the club. (I stop at this point to shudder while imagining what life might have been like if, in the heyday of my drinking, there had also been blogging.)

I will say that I think of those times, with all the good and all the bad, fondly. Much fun was had. And probably much of that fun couldn’t have happened without social lubricant. Maybe someday I will write down the stories because they are funny and human. Yeah, I should probably do that. But not today.

I’ll go watch the Super Bowl and drink a beer instead. I know it’s not in the spirit of Living Out Loud but believe me, it was all very out loud back then and that’s good enough.

14 Responses to ““But the bush is comfortable!””

  1. 1 Meganon 07 Feb 2010 at 3:50 pm

    I love your last sentence. You’re right. Sometimes when you actually live things very out loud, you can leave them alone later. Enjoy your beer. :)

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    Kim Reply:

    I am still shuddering about the concept of blogs existing back then.

    [Reply]

  2. 2 … in a Bottle » Blog Archive » Recap of 13th Living Out Loud project: Drinkin’ buddieson 07 Feb 2010 at 5:39 pm

    […] S’s But the Bush is Comfortable! I hear ya about the baby birthday parties being more our style these days than swinging at the […]

  3. 3 mpomyon 07 Feb 2010 at 7:14 pm

    What a great post. I know you decided to bag the Super Bowl (probably a good idea), but what about the beer? That would go OK with ‘Whip It’, no?

    [Reply]

    Kim Reply:

    I drank water because I got a wicked headache for no reason at all! Ahh, getting older. We did watch the last ten (game clock) minutes of the SB which was kind of fun.

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  4. 4 Jenon 07 Feb 2010 at 9:20 pm

    Damn skippy. =)

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  5. 5 Suzicateon 08 Feb 2010 at 6:01 am

    Nice post…most important is to be comfortabel with your choices, and that you’ve definitely accomplished. Great job!

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  6. 6 Lorion 08 Feb 2010 at 9:54 am

    Funny, recently something reminded me of the night I woke up to the LARP party at our place. Someone handed me a margarita while I was baking a birthday cake for the next day and then there was a strip tease in the living room.

    [Reply]

    Kim Reply:

    My recollection of that party was that you were showing everyone bifurcated penises from your textbook!

    Good times.

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  7. 7 Lorion 08 Feb 2010 at 9:55 am

    I should probably clarify – that the strip tease was neither Kim, Telf nor me. I don’t even know her name.

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    Kim Reply:

    I am 100% confident I know who it was, but that goes under the “someone else’s story to tell” category. :)

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  8. 8 Pegon 08 Feb 2010 at 5:12 pm

    Great post. I understand completely about things getting a little looser w/ lubrication. Not always a good thing.

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  9. 9 Christyon 09 Feb 2010 at 5:44 pm

    I relate to so much to this, and not just because we were drinking buddies back in the day. *g* The older I get, the more I don’t see the point of drinking, esp just to get drunk. (You might have read in other posts how intolerant I’ve become of drunks etc.) I drank for similar reasons as you. I stopped when I realized how out of control it made my life.. and that I *really* didn’t like being out of control about my own life. And yah, when you have to drive afterwards, there’s no drinking at all, and I almost always ended up being the designated driver. Which also made me realized how stupid drunk people could be and how boring some things were if you weren’t drinking. Or like you said, can I just go home now?!?! :)

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  10. 10 karalon 16 Feb 2010 at 11:30 pm

    Reading this brought to light several drunken memories related to being socially adventurous. I cringe when I look back at that alcohol-infused euphoria of life and all the stupid things it caused me to do. There are so many good things to be said about water . . .

    [Reply]

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